Getty Image

Football fans have Wild Card weekend, college basketball fans have March Madness, NBA fans have the conference semifinals, and soccer fans have the holiday fixtures.

For every sports fan — no matter what sport it is — there is a window during the season that the game is at its most epic. And for us soccer fans, it’s happening right now.

The month of December is famously the busiest time of the year during the club football calendar, as not only is the Premier League stacking in midweek games, but the Champions League and the Carabao Cup are both in full swing (not to mention the FA Cup picking back up at the turn of the year). With seemingly a game every single day, there is no better time to be a Premier League fan.

Soak it in, because it only comes once a year, and when it does, it can either be fantastic or utterly awful, depending on how your team performs, how many of your bets hit, and how many beers your drink.

Sauce Central Station – Viral Clips of the Week

It doesn’t get any sweeter than this.

Liverpool being Liverpool.

Pep Guardiola, Bayern Munich manager.

Messi wins his record-setting sixth Ballon d’Or

How many Sakhos does it take to Otamendi a Phil Jones? Approximately one Lovren!

Let’s Talk About (The Top) Six, Baby

Liverpool: Liverpool, once again, won by a score of 2-1 last week and didn’t look all that spectacular in doing so. Luckily for them, the results matter more than the performance and they remain unbeaten on the season. With neighborhood rivals Everton on their way to Anfield — where they haven’t won since 1999 — Liverpool have a real chance to make yet another statement with an under-the-lights thrashing of the Toffees.

Manchester City: Following their difficult draw at Newcastle last weekend that saw Kevin De Bruyne’s Puskas Award contender nullified by Jonjo Shelvey’s equally fantastic strike, City got their act back together on Tuesday by absolutely mopping the floor with Burnley (and then oddly posed for postgame team photos as if they just advanced to the Champions League final — weird group, that City bunch).

Leicester City: If you didn’t believe before, you should now: Leicester City are well and truly in the title race, as they’re not only the second or third best team in the Premier League, but they seem to have that magic stuff these days, which is a terrifying thought for anyone who remembers what happened in 2016.

Chelsea: After a run of form that had some (not me, but some, like Michael Davies of Men in Blazers) wondering if Chelsea had forced their way into the title race conversation, Chelsea has suffered two straight difficult defeats in the Premier League, albeit of a different nature. After narrowly losing to Man City on the road two weeks ago, Chelsea inexplicably lost to lowly West Ham at home without even scoring a goal.

Crystal Palace: What Roy Hodgson is doing this season is nothing short of remarkable. Despite losing their best defensive player in Aaron Wan-Bissaka, Palace — who have scored just 14(!) goals this season — find themselves with more points than Tottenham, Manchester United, and Arsenal. Considering we’re almost at the halfway point of the season, that’s simply incredible from a team that was expected to finish just above the relegation zone.

Spurs: Don’t let Spurs get hot folks. With two straight wins in the Premier League following the appointment of Jose Mourinho, there’s a real chance that Spurs role into Old Trafford on Wednesday and absolutely annihilate them.

Get Rich or Die Tryin’ – Underdog Lock of the Week

Last week, I told you to take pitiful Everton to draw at Leicester knowing fully well that there was a massive chance the pick explodes in my face. Everton is utterly rudderless and their manager Marco Silva is a dead man walking. They have no direction and no remote idea of how to properly spend money.

And yet, heading into the 94th minute against the consensus second-best team in the Premier League Leicester City, Everton were holding onto a one-goal lead. But because time is a flat circle, the Toffees gave up what amounts to a buzzer beater in the game’s dying moments to Kelechi Iheanacho, a man who hadn’t scored in the Premier League for about a year or so.

Remember, he’s the same guy who did this last season, that closet City fan fucker:

The point is, no matter how much research or prognosticating I do for these picks, the fact is they can be undone in a matter of mere moments. Such is life, I suppose.

And yet, despite last week’s painful evidence that football (and life) is just a series of random and uncontrollable “what the fucks”, I feel as though this week’s underdog is a LOCK: Spurs to win at Man United (because, at this moment, they’re somehow slight underdogs).

Folks, not only are Spurs leaps and bounds more talented than United, and not only is Anthony Martial out with an injury but The Grinch himself Jose Mourinho is on his revenge tour, and that, is very dangerous for his scorned ex-lovers, particularly one as recent and as downtrodden as his tenure with United. There’s a very real chance Spurs steamroll ’em.

The Pick: Spurs TO WIN = +175

Chalkity Chalk Chalk Chalk – Favorite Lock of the Week

I’m going to make this short and sweet to reflect how I hope the game itself plays out, ruthlessly efficient: Liverpool at home TO WIN against Everton. Everton has not won at Anfield since 1999, so Liverpool at only -275 is somewhat of a steal. If you’d like, toss a little on the draw if you want to cover your arse, although I expect to Champions of Europe to pistol-whip Toffees under the lights at Anfield.

The Pick: Liverpool TO WIN = -275

What Fucking Channel Is The Game On?

Wednesday
2:30 p.m. ET: Man United v. Tottenham – NBCSN
2:30 p.m. ET: Chelsea v. Aston Villa – NBC Sports Gold 
2:30 p.m. ET:  Leicester City v. Watford – NBC Sports Gold
2:30 p.m. ET. ET: Southampton v. Norwich – NBC Sports Gold 
2:30 p.m. ET:  Wolves v. West Ham – NBC Sports Gold
3:15 p.m. ET: Liverpool v. Everton  – NBC Sports Gold

Thursday
3:15 p.m. ET: Arsenal v. Brighton – NBCSN
2:30 p.m. ET: Sheffield United v. Newcastle – NBC Sports Gold

Instagram Flex of the Week

View this post on Instagram

Just another ordinary night ! #shinebrightlikeadiamond

A post shared by Paulo Dybala (@paulodybala) on Dec 3, 2019 at 10:30am PST

He Said What?!?!

“I really feel that this club can all be brought together and we can put some smiles on to people’s faces again.” – Arsenal interim manager Freddie Ljungberg on the state of the club (LOL).

It’s A Wide, Wide World – Rest of the World Game of the Week

***

Eric is a New York City-based writer who still isn’t quite sure how he’s allowed to have this much fun for a living and will tell anyone who listens that Gotham City is canonically in New Jersey. Follow him on Twitter @eric_ital for movie and soccer takes or contact him eric@brobible.com